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Relationship with parents

Meetings with the children’s parents.

Aims

Working in presence of parents means answering to their questions and their doubts. There are questions we can answer in presence of children, others we cannot. One of the first rules is to clarify that it is forbidden to talk of the child when he is there. Even if he is young or very young, be sure that he will understand that we are talking about him, about a problem he has and which causes difficulties.
The parent participating in music therapy sees what happens during the meetings. Being there experiencing the situations, leads to a wider approach to the world. Prejudices, commonplaces in thinking and judging lead to a crisis due to events. An event is something that happened and becomes something that is a part of the people participating in it. A real event cannot be discussed. A real event allows you to discuss what you thought to know. In music therapy meetings parents notice:
- a brain lesion, a sensory damage or something else cannot prevent their child to progress in a totally unpredictable way;
- relationship problems and/or troubles inhibit learning in children who do not present any handicap, “perfect” children at least to all appearances.
Devoting some time to discussions can be useful; participating in the meetings and experiencing the real events can help the procedure. Meetings reserved to parents, besides the music therapy ones, allow discussing shared experiences.
Dialogue, at least in most cases, becomes direct and constructive.

Scientific Aspects

Finding the way to make parents aware of their children’s experiences becomes an active and vital way to go back to the childhood to rediscover the value of childhood.
The word “game”, commonly understood as amusement, in music therapy acquires its original meaning : “living experiences which cause joy”.
Learning occurs in particular emotional situations. What we learnt with joy will be remembered with pleasure and becomes a spur to go on.
In this way, with parents delicate subjects such as punishment or deprivation used to oblige children to obey can be treated.
Leading parents to a wider vision of the world means helping them to have confidence in themselves and to transform anger in a smile.
It is worth to remind that being parents is the most difficult task and we do not receive any training for it. Only the birth of a child transforms a person into a parent.
This is the confirmation that the relationship is the basis of every action we do, any feeling we experience and any reaction that we have.